if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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