Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
no, he came in my armpit
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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