I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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