okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
