Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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