i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
