May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
