It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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