I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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