i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
