Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
