i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
