I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize