YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
