i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
