so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
