You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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