im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
