Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
