It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
