kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
