No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
