Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
