I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
