i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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