So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
