Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
