Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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