glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
