Buhtt sex?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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