Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
