my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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