speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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