college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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