I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize