i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
