I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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