ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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