Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
