Plan B is the new Plan A
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
