I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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