Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
