she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize