Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
