i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
