WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
