Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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