Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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