Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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