i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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