Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone