I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.