i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it