Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
