I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have tasted many bathrooms
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize