His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
