And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
