I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
