Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
