my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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