Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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