As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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