pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
