so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
