I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
