I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
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It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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