I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
